Ramblings

1.

Life continues. Events, actions and words remain as the time that is indulged in and spent, but of late, it is as though time itself has crystallised and shattered, scattered amongst the remnants of passers by at the depth of an ocean floor. To remember is as though to fish amongst the wearied souls that are but imaginations of the past.

I seem to have reached a stage of submission to the peace within my own cave, only distantly aware of life itself, absorbed in the timelessness that space can give. But it is a time that stagnates, that dulls the mind, the senses, and in its place remaines a numbness that settles through the cuccoon, a veil to the seasons of change.

It is within these depths that the light of each dawn brings out the words written upon the dark, a reminder and a challenge set forth by Tolkein's words. To fade with the settling of dusk is but a sign of its transient rebirth. Indeed, a warmth to draw slumber to rest. For now..

The rota of the stars are a testament to our growth of age, experience and time. In numbers we are sure to gain, throughout each second to the year, but it is wisdom that we should hope to pursue. It has been a long many years and I feel the subtleties of age more than I knew.

2.

There comes a time when you question your path. When you realise that you spend your days in mindless monotony, a habit born in repeat. Repeat.. But it takes belief to bring perspective to what previously had been aimless play. Again. We do it for Him. And in selfishness, for us. Yet sometimes, it takes a simple conversation to reignite the passion for your belief in the road you walk upon. A difference to make. A change.

I believe that in changing our future, we must change our present. There are those who dismiss their responsibilities to the children that they have born, and to the society in which they reside. It is a lack of understanding which harbours fear, and a lack of acceptance which does not allow for help. With us remains the duty to reach out to the generations before us and allow them to embrace all that which caused them shame.

2 1/2.

Illnesses of the mind. It is a disease, like diabetes or hypertension or even TB. However, mental disorders are shunned as being embarassing, lewd and for some, fictitious. They are real. Ignoring it won't make it go away. Not believing it exists won't explain a friend's behaviour. And hiding a child from society will never give them a chance to get the help that they need.

These disorders exist, and in acceptance there is no shame. It is our duty to educate and to treat. This is my goal. My belief and my change. It is however a dangerous field to play as beliefs are in constant battle against the sience that we are taught. Are we in fact waging war against God's decree. Do we create excuses for those whose cruelty and disregard for love and for life are simply classed as 'diseased'. Are we the ones that allow for the corruption of society to progress further and with little restraint. It is indeed a war, in which our enemy hides from behind our eyes. But what about the abused, the emotionally scarred and the traumatised. These are victims of the depraved. And there are the disabled, the handicapped and confused. They all deserve to be understood. To be accepted. To be loved. Whether adult or child. There is a beauty of that which is recovered by God's blessing and cure in the form of the guidance and support we give. That is to be our aim.

3.

In reevaluating the point at which I stand, I look to those around me and I see change; in character, in maturity and in deen. We each have reached the stage where we are now veering into an unknown territory of humbled intentions in search of a commitment not to be undone. And yet, my insignificance quashes my desire to seek, for there is nought I think I may offer in goodly returns. How then can it be?

I am afraid.

And yet, the alluring beauty it provides, still remains..

'He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)' [30:21]

4.

Humans are however made weak. They fall. Sins are meant to remain between the believer and His Lord, for even when seeking guidance for ones salvation from those of knowledge, in standing before them, your forgiveness was always with Allah.

Havingly recently been made aware of a situation in which a righteous Muslim man held an affair with his daughter-in-law, I fear for their unborn child, an innocent caught in the midst. It would be arrogance to judge and humility to fear for ourselves. No one is safe from the advances of Shaitan. May Allah protect us all from the traps of lust, boredom and mistakes.

"And whoever does evil or wrongs himself and then seeks forgiveness from Allah, he shall find Allah, All-Forgiving, All-Merciful." [4:110]

5.

Forgiveness for humans can be a test of our patience and patience, once inculcated into ones personality brings an undisruptable peace of the soul. And yet there are times when our unwavering belief lets us do nothing but fight. Until we waver. Wisdom may not have been ours to attain and logic may have held discourse, but in sacrifice, we are to learn the truths that were once obscure. It is however in our patience that we attest to the Will, no longer on our own to fight. To decide. Let the balance of living and life find its place amongst the chaos that new thoughts pursue.

"..On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear.." [7:42]

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Jumbed up thoughts- an attempt to express my every day life :)